fear

results are out and the freak-out wait is over.. so... what nxt??

the fear of the unknown is always replaced by the fear of...
next unknown..

we are afterall humans, eh? the funny thing that i came across last week is, amidst all the pressure of upcoming results, my mind was all clogged with worries abt whether i passed or not.. over a few hours, however, i was told i got thru... the moment of joy and gratitude passed soon enough and there I was , back on my worry chair, wondering if it was first class, or distinction...!!

pity that in these strange circumstances, i easily forgot the year behind all this, and the work and effort that actually went into this day's better outcome... and i knew, i was already turning into the greedy ambitious woman i always feared i'd become... i controlled my flying expectations of the percentage i had scored, but nevertheless curiosity was building, so i did indulge into finding out my marks...

yup, it wasn't bad.. for the efforts i put in, i actually thought 62% in mbbs isn't so bad... but i couldn't bring myself to congratulate me..

of course, after every gr8 venture we tend to hope for the best outcomes, and we even visualise ourselves at the heights of glory.. i did, he he... i even imagined how i would create a new record in mbbs history- of course it was indeed made this year, but not by me, but by a fellow classmate- and how i'd turn into some celebrity geek of all times... :)

i didnt realise this dream, just like many other fantastic figments of my imagination... i just moved on to the next level without so much as a hurrah... mm, i guess my day of glory (or god forbid, infamy) isn't here yet.. and one of my greatest gurus of all times taught me the lesson of job satisfaction, and even shared his dictionary with me, so that i understood better what he meant by it...

 some hectic house surgeoncy days ahead, guys.. i will keep u all posted, but till then...

adios...